Wednesday, May 31, 2006

About Damn Time

Finally, Royals owner David Glass has acted on his words. The Royals fired Allard Baird today and hired Braves Assistant GM/Vice-Pres of Baseball Operations Dayton Moore to a five year deal. Glass and Moore did not see eye-to-eye at first, as Glass the Meddler did not want to fork over complete control of baseball operations to Moore. Glass finally acquiesced to Moore's demands, and made the move. Moore seemed the logical choice, and luckily Glass actually made the right choice. For the time being, Muzzy Jackson will take over as interim GM until next week after the June 6-7 player draft. Hooray!

Moore regime to begin

Allard Baird is done in Kansas City, and the Royals are prepared to give the job to Dayton Moore.

Here it is, Royals fans.

Comeback win

So, now that I am a working man, I was listening to the Royals radio last night while going to sleep. Had not the soporific voice of Fred White induced me to sleep, I could've listened to the Stairs single to tie it 7-7, and the Grundzielanek finishing blow in the 10th. I'm blaming this one on Fred White.

Fred White's voice puts you to sleep like a warm glass of milk spiked with NyQuil. It's irresistable. The other night, I was listening to the broadcast, and here's how it went, verbatim.
(The following anecdote has nothing to do with sleep-inducing, and for those reading this entry and evaluating based solely on structure and relevant thinking, stop here)

Bob Davis: Do you remember the time the Oakland crowd threw batteries on the field? What was that, 20 years ago? I don't remember what it was for....
Fred White: I dunno, must've been something they didn't like.

There it is--Fred White has ruled out elated, celebratory battery tossing in favor of the more popular malevolent battery tossing. But more digging revealed a time where celebratory battery tossing was indeed the situation:

I remember one time when I was playing ball in France before my NBA career
got going. I had rebounded the ball, dished it, and ran down the floor,
receiving a pass and dunking before the buzzer sounded. The irreverant
crowd began throwing AA batteries, and I scooped up as many as I could to fuel
my portable CD player and my TV remote. That was the best Christmas
ever. --Charles Oakley

Actually, all that didn't happen. But I'm bored at work.

How come Bautista always gets these big leads, then blows em? Will somebody PLEASE teach this guy how to pitch? His stuff is nasty!

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

"I Gotta Feelin'!"

About ten minutes before the 8:05 first pitch last night, one of my roomates came up to me and informed me that he had some kinda feeling about monday night's game. I thought he was absolutely insane as we were bringing up spot starter Seth Etherington (just 21 starts in the bigs while allowing 24 homers in those starts) to pitch against Dan Haren (had allowed just one earned run in 15 innings to the the roy-roys this year). But, he was right; after Ambiorix Burgos coughed up a homer to Nick Swisher, he got Eric Chavez to ground into the game inning DP for a final score of 6-4. At this point in time, I'm starting to feel like the Royals are not going to break the single season record for most losses. We're starting to get some guys healthy, and other guys are starting to hit the ball better. Although David Dejesus went 0 for 5 last night, we don't have to worry about defensive liabilities in center field anymore. The Royals also gave me an early birthday present last night by giving Angel Berroa the day off. At this point, I think we need to start working on trading Angel and getting any kind of value we can for him.

Welp, the boys in blue go at it again tonight at 9:05 as Denny Bautista tries to get us the win against Brad Halsey, the poor son of a gun who coughed up Barry Bond's 714th homer, destined to be seen in highlights for all of eternity.

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Angel saves the day...

...and collects his second walk! Now, my research tells me that the lowest walk total for a regular in a Major League season is he's on pace for about 7-8 BBs. So, he needs to be a little more aggressive at the plate.

According to the KC Star and ESPN, David Glass has offered the GM job to Atlanta assistant Dayton Moore. Moore, a Wichita native, is the best choice. However, KC will move on to other options if we cannot meet Moore's demand--that is, total control of personnel. Corby's advice?

GIVE IT TO HIM. He made this demand because he wants no Glass meddling in his affairs. The Glasses are not baseball people; they should let Moore run the organization how he wants. That's the best way to turn this thing around. Hell, the Glasses are so inept that they haven't even fired Baird yet. If David Glass doesn't the job to Dayton Moore, we must turn to worse (much worse) alternatives like the ex-Phillies GM and some dude in the Padres system. If we can't get Schuerholz back (in the "yeah right" category), Moore is the best option.

Revive the Royals--Dayton Moore should be GM, and maybe the ship can get righted in the next decade.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

6-0 lead in 1st isn't enough to overcome Tigers

At least the three bombs we hit lengthened our lead on NL HR leader Albert Pujols, who now trails the entire Royals team 22 bombs to 27. Suck it!

I have tried to find a reason to hate Pujols. Look at his official website! You see. The guy is squeaky clean. If you guys find any dirt on this guy, if he cheated on a spelling test, cut someone off in high school, cursed, or anything slightly negative or nefarious, PLEASE comment and let me know.

Thirteen in a row. Thirteen. We lost 13-8 after knocking Mike Maroth out of the game--he only recorded one out. They scored 5 in the 8th and 9th innings, and the bullpen gave up seven runs. Wow. I can feel the bedded rock--we must be at the bottom.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

12 in a row

At least Leo Nunez is back? Right? Right?!!

Friday, May 19, 2006

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Maybe it's me...

but I think being the absolute worst is fun, because when you win, you can say "We just beat you, and we're the worst team in baseball!" Or maybe my brain is just fried from finals/watching this team growing up. We are old and bad, which is a hard thing to pull off. But it's funny. I'll still go. Whatever.

Nice Air Supply reference Dyl.

So Frustrating..... and Confusing...

Justin Huber continues to rot on the bench. Allard Baird continues to not be fired. Angel Berroa refuses to run out ground balls. I continue to watch the Royals. These four things are what is eating me up the most right now. Especially the fact that I continue to torture myself like some kind of pain driven masochist. Why do I insist on watching game after game, loss after loss? It just is not worth it anymore. The only games worth watching on RSTN are the Wichita Wranglers games on May 31 and June 1. At least those games will feature talented players and some glimmer of hope. I feel like I am falling into an endless Abyss, with no sign of light and a thinning air supply. I think if I had the chance to meet David Glass I would kick him straight in the junk. A legit KTJ. Even though he would probaby send out an evil-robot-body-guard task force to hunt me down right afterwards. He's gotta spend his money on something, doesn't he? If Glass is going to say he's making changes, he needs to make changes. And get Huber back down in F***ING Omaha!!!!!!

Sunday, May 14, 2006


...that nothing has been done by the organization yet!

Worthless. Didn't Buddy see that there was no way Burgos was gonna throw a strike with any sort of command? I know you want to instill faith in your relievers, but this guy is closer by elimination, not by a long arduous competitive Spring Training. Blech.

We give up 4 in the bottom of the ninth to the Orioles. After all we did in the eighth and ninth. You might see my loyalty on eBay soon.

Posnanski column...a good one too.

sick of it all!!!

ketchup???? Are you kidding me??? The most obvious choice in the hot-dog derby wins even after leading when rounding third. This is the first time i had ever seen a dog win while leading after rounding third base! This is an absolute outrage as displayed by throwing my mustard shirt onto the field after ketchup's BS win! Speaking of BS wins, how did we sweep the Indians? They are the far superior team, and I'm pretty sure we did it just to preserve Allard B's job! Obviously, Mr. Glass can't find a replacement right now, or these announced "big changes" would have happened when they were claimed, not four weeks later. I've been searching baseball websites for weeks in hope of seeing the news that Allard has been fired, but alas it is to no avail.

On a side note, the Royals played a great game on the road today, making it a close 11-1 against the Baltimore Oriloles. Hopefully, Mark Redmond goes the way of the Mays soon and is either given a minor league option..... or given fifteen lashes. Well, we suck; we have no power and no pitching. If anyone wants to take a bet with me that we will break the Major League record for most loses, email me at!!!!!!!

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

By the way

By the way, Ketchup was the winner of Tuesday night's Hot Dog Race competition. The winners, bearers of the "Ketchup" version of the condiment t-shirt giveaway, were awarded a free Kauffman Stadium Hot Dog. About a month ago, I downed 11 of these puppies during a Royals win. MMMMM tasty. Congratulations to Ketchup, Catsup, Tomato Paste, the Heinz family, and punchline of the "What did mustard say to relish during the big race" joke.

Sweep City: "Royals are idiots" headline rescinded

No, I still refuse to rescind the headline that claimed that the Royals are idiots (unless Glass has made Baird a sitting duck WHILE finding the single greatest GM in baseball history!), but the Royals swept the Indians much thanks to an uncommon power surge during the series. The Royals were up 8-6, Andrade came in and sucked (he was contractually obliged to suck I'm told), but Guiel and Berroa saved the day like they have so many times. Wait, wasn't Aaron Guiel in double A last year and doesn't Berroa usually tap the first pitch of an at bat to the shortstop? I do rescind that.


Just kidding. But don't be surprised if this happens, and a sexual harrassment lawsuit follows closely. Wouldn't that be perfect?

Earlier this year, I e-mailed Rob Neyer, and he said he would put my site on on the next update. So the next update comes, and no love for corbyandtheroyals. But no fear, faithful dozens of readers (not including those who accidentaly load the page for microseconds in Thailand), I would like to tell Rob Neyer something.

Rob, you have a great website, and your ESPN articles (which I read with Insider status) are certainly premium as advertised, often with numbers backing them up by the barrellful. Also, and I say this in the most amiable sense, that your are a very handsome man, and more handsome than the other sportswriters I have come in contact with, such as the likes of townie John Sickels, KC Beat-writer (and now Yahoo! fantasy analyst) Jeff Passan, and guest host Jason Whitlock. Also, your books are fantastic, and I have often given them out as gifts. I mean I did once. But I bought it at a Border's, so maybe they're some good overhead there?? No, no I doubt it.
Corby and the Royals

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Royals are idiots

Buddy Bell is an idiot. Allard Baird is an idiot. Mark Teahen has been a collossal flop this far. John Buck hit his first dinger of the season yesterday on a fly ball that barely cleared the fence. Tonight we are giving shirts out that don't have players, but condiments on them. Yeah, like Mustard Ketchup Relish condiments.
Justin Huber HAS to play if he is called up, or else he's just losing ABs. I'd prefer him staying sharp than platooning. Allard Baird has to go TODAY, I don't care if we have won 3 games in the last week--signs are that we aren't gonna turn this thing around. Let's do something, and let's welcome the newest epoch of Royals baseball before it's too late.

Justin Huber's Big League Bench Warming Adventures!

Justin Huber is many things: a top fifty prospect, a pretty good power hitter, our future everyday first-baseman, Australian, and.... a bench warmer? Yes, the awesome aussie is currently riding the bench at Kauffman Stadium in an apparent "DH platoon" situation with my man, Matt Stairs. Allard and Buddy at their finest. When the Royals got bitten by the injury bug again as Mike Sweeny went down with a severe case of pussitis, Justin Huber was brought up to fill the void. Now, it makes absolutely no sense to have one of your top prospects (who was supposed to spend the whole year being groomed in Omha) only play DH against lefties, and never play in the field. Doug Meinketwheovnlekljzjdejdz, currently batting .250 with an on basepercentage/slugging percentage of .320/.348, while spectacular in the field, has hardly provided a steady enough bat to secure everyday playing time. If Huber is in the majors, he needs to be getting swings everyday, not gathering rust while aging veterans post mediocre batting averages. General Mangager Allard Baird is walking on a very thin rope right now, and having one of the Royals' top prospects ride the bench is not going to help that.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Man sells Royals loyalty on Ebay

You can always do it Ebay.

Saturday, May 06, 2006


So the Royals took the lead, lost it, and gained it again? That's unheard of so far this season. Once they went down 2-1 (insert sympathy for Scott Elarton) I thought they were toast. But then Aaron Guiel and Esteban German led a 9th inning rally. Let's keep it going here, people.

Aaron Guiel is FINALLY up, and it's a good thing, as I thought he should've won the job over Shane Costa, although Costa has batted well. And German got the 3rd base job due to Teahen's overall ineptness, and we should learn a lesson here: if Billy Beane will give up a "good" prospect and only get Octavio Dotel (who was a lot better at the time of the trade), obviously he was never high on this guy. And he has done nothing but suck, and has only been average in the field. Mientkiewicz, while he costs us runs at the plate, saves a helluva lot of errors from that crew.

Tonight: Royals at White Sox, 7:05

Ninth Inning Rallies: Which One Prevailed???

Well the Royals, seemingly on their way to another defeat after steady reliever Elmer Dessens gave up a go-ahead homer to Joe Crede in the 8th, gave Kansas City something to cheer about as the put up a four spot in the ninth and won 5-4. Closer Ambiorix Burgos did provide a little score are but all that really matters right now is putting a few Ws up on the board. put up an article yesterday reiterating David Glass's statement that changes are imminent letting Royal fans know that Mark Teahan is in Omaha and Joe Mays will be shortly. Esteban German is the new everyday third baseman and Denny Bautista is likely to take over Mays' spot in the rotation against Cleveland on Monday. I approve of both of these moves allthough i would like to see Teahan back in the majors before too long as German is obviously not the long term solution(allthough he has been solid with the bat). I've always been a fan of Aaron Guiel and i believe that he will do an adequate job as a gap filler; in fact, I'd rather see Aaron out there than Emil Brown. The aforementioned article, found here, also noted that Glass has given Baird 25 million bucks to use for aquiring free agents. Whether anything will come out of this is yet to be seen.

Well tonight we go for the hat trick as the Royals try an take game 2 from the dirtiest, sleaziest World Champs in history.

Game time: 6:00 pm Royals: Runelvys Hernandez (1-1, 2.63 ERA)
White Sox: Javier Vasquez (3-1, 3.00 ERA)

Friday, May 05, 2006

Royals notch first road win; Glass "out of patience"

It appears that all it took for David Glass to start getting frustrated was a 6-20 start and near-historical road losing streak to begin the season. That's all! Geez, this guy must have the patience of a saint. Saint Barnabus maybe. Who knows, I'm not Catholic. Article here.

It appears Mike Sweeney might have to retire, which is a sad-end to a once very promising career. It is so easy to condemn this deal right now, that we are paying this guy 11 million bucks to get hurt. According to ESPN, Sweeney's back is in terrible shape. This is just part of the bad luck (if you want to call it that) that Allard Baird has had to endure. When we signed Sweeney to this deal, everyone in Kansas City thought it was a great decision. They decided to give the cash to the popular vocal leader and Christian soldier Mike Sweeney, who had become a mammoth figure in the heartland, mashing baseballs and regularly contending for the AL Batting Title. Wow, how things have changed.

Now as I hear people on the radio call out Allard Baird for this "terrible" decision, I know it's only because of what has transpired the last few years. It was either the personable, warm Sweeney or the silent, stern Carlos Beltran--and the Royals chose Sweeney based on character. Everyone knew Beltran was the better all around player, and I believe he is a little overrated; that HUGE 2004 postseason catapulted him into that elite contract stratosphere, whether he deserved it or not. The best you can expect from Beltran: .270, 25 HRs, 25 SBs. Good numbers, but not like a young Barry Bonds.

At the time, Mike Sweeney was a good decision. There, I said it. We got him for under his market value. This was before it was known he was a huge liability on defense, and I'm sure any NL team would've loved his production. We got a discount because he wanted to stay here. This story is truly sad.

Sweeney worked his ass off. He is not an elite athlete. His swing is unorthodox and I feel it's hard for him to get in a groove coming on the bench, where he no doubt thinks about all of his lastest swings. This works for David Ortiz, but it has not worked for Sweeney.

If Glass is truly fed up, he would be wise to not let Allard Baird be a lame duck. This organization needs to be BLOWN UP. I don't mean behind the scenes, solely--on the field too. Like Joe Posnanski points out in his column today, the 2-6 hitters average 35 years of age. Keep Gordon, Huber, Butler, Affeldt, Bautista, Blanco, Sisco, and maybe Runelvys. Everyone else's time is up.

We got nothing for Carlos Beltran except for a catcher who passes balls on pitch outs and a third baseman who can only hit opposite field singles. This is when the hold ship went south.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

The AAA(Kansas City) Royals Can't Win On The Road

Welp, tonights 4-1 loss makes it 11 straight road defeats. That also means the Roy-Roys haven't won a game on the road all season. Batting averages are dropping, ERAs are rising, and it really couldn't get much worse than this right now. Failed experiment Andre David(former hitting coach) was sent to the minors to teach our young talent how to swing at everything and hit for no power. This season is quickly spiraling out of control, as we are well on our way to the worst season in the history of major league baseball. At least the K is giving out condiment t-shirts on tuesday (Dramatic eye-roll). Uggggghhhhhhh.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006